What am I supposed to get out of all of this?

If you know me at all you know that I am constantly thinking either about what happened and what my effect was on something or what is going to happen and what I am supposed to do about it. I have done this for as long as a remember. One of the questions that I have been asking myself during the last two months is "What am I supposed to be getting out of all of this?" I talk to friends about this and many have asked themselves the same question while facing a trial in life such as a loss of a loved one, loss of a job, premature birth of a child, illness, etc. I have been lucky in my life because during most of my trials I have been able to quickly assess the situation and know what I was supposed to get out of a situation. But this job loss, new career, moving to Las Vegas, then moving to Utah, etc. has really stumped me. Until this morning. Many people have said "I don't know how you do it." Meaning mom to twins and a 9 year old, and probably all of the other stuff I get involved in. I have quoted scripture in the past and just said "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." Frankly, I have muttered that under my breath at 3 in the morning, not neccessarily as an acknowledgement of it actually being the case but more as a pleading for help. Today at 5 am when Emma decided she didn't want to sleep anymore, I stumbled to the nursery to pick her up and comfort her. Soon after Sara awoke and I before I could feel sorry for myself that I am here by myself taking care of two great babies, wondering why God would send three amazing children to my self-proclaimed woefully inadiquate care, a thought came to me: I can do this, I am doing this.
We are taught that God will never give us a greater trial or burden or lesson than we can bare. I have been thinking a great deal about that and wondering just how much I can take, how much much more could possibly happen. (I do not want to find out. I will just leave that to Job from the Old Testament) But I am also comforted knowing that whatever I will face, I can know that it wouldn't be given to me unless I could handle it. I am capable of making it through this. I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. That is what I am supposed to get out of all of this.

Settled on a location...

Nathan has been out west all week--ugh, it has been hard being in charge of packing and the three kids--looking into the Alternate Route to Licensure teaching programs and he found that Utah's program is probably going to be the best fit. While Las Vegas does offer a little more in the pay department, Utah has a lower cost of living and is not as HOT! He checked out living situations in both places and found we could have more for the money and in a "safer" area in Utah. So we are excited to announce that we will be moving to Utah and he found us a house to live in and everything. One of the bonus aspects to this house is that is on the same street as Nathan's brother Trevor and Rebekah and their 6 kids. It is at the end of a cul de sac and Hannah will be able to ride her bike to school if she wants. We can see mountains out of every window of the house. We don't know what the future holds beyond that, but we are grateful to have such kind friends and family here and there to help us and to love us.

"Last night I had a strangest dream.."

I thought I would give an update... everyone is doing well at our house. Nathan is out west interviewing for jobs and looking for a place for us to live. Hannah and I are holding down the fort. The girls are getting bigger and into so many neat things. Emma likes to dance whenever she hears anything remotely like music and Sara loves fabric and little details in things. I will post some photos or a slide show soon. Friday they will be 10 months old and I cannot tell you where the time has gone. Someone told us when were pregnant with the twins that this first year will be the fastest year of our lives yet the days will be the longest and that is exactly right.
I have to tell everyone about my brilliant and witty 9 year old. Tomorrow in class she is going to do a reader's theatre-a play script written to be read aloud in class. Her part is a reporter/scientist and she has created a costume and a prop. I guess the show has something to do with frogs and she took a drawing of a frog and some construction paper and a few other art supplies and created a full blown realistic frog habitat in a plastic shoe box container. I sent her down to take a shower and when she came up to say "goodnight" she showed me what she had done in just a few minutes. I was blown away. We are all "hanging in there". There are times when I am driving or working around the house and I am thinking to myself is this a weird dream. Am I going to wake up and none of this will have happened? You know like those weird dreams where you wake up and say "I had the craziest dream last night, we had twins, and then I quit my job to stay home with them, and then you lost your job, and to top it off we moved across the country. Weird!" That's my life right now, one crazy dream.