What am I supposed to get out of all of this?

If you know me at all you know that I am constantly thinking either about what happened and what my effect was on something or what is going to happen and what I am supposed to do about it. I have done this for as long as a remember. One of the questions that I have been asking myself during the last two months is "What am I supposed to be getting out of all of this?" I talk to friends about this and many have asked themselves the same question while facing a trial in life such as a loss of a loved one, loss of a job, premature birth of a child, illness, etc. I have been lucky in my life because during most of my trials I have been able to quickly assess the situation and know what I was supposed to get out of a situation. But this job loss, new career, moving to Las Vegas, then moving to Utah, etc. has really stumped me. Until this morning. Many people have said "I don't know how you do it." Meaning mom to twins and a 9 year old, and probably all of the other stuff I get involved in. I have quoted scripture in the past and just said "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." Frankly, I have muttered that under my breath at 3 in the morning, not neccessarily as an acknowledgement of it actually being the case but more as a pleading for help. Today at 5 am when Emma decided she didn't want to sleep anymore, I stumbled to the nursery to pick her up and comfort her. Soon after Sara awoke and I before I could feel sorry for myself that I am here by myself taking care of two great babies, wondering why God would send three amazing children to my self-proclaimed woefully inadiquate care, a thought came to me: I can do this, I am doing this.
We are taught that God will never give us a greater trial or burden or lesson than we can bare. I have been thinking a great deal about that and wondering just how much I can take, how much much more could possibly happen. (I do not want to find out. I will just leave that to Job from the Old Testament) But I am also comforted knowing that whatever I will face, I can know that it wouldn't be given to me unless I could handle it. I am capable of making it through this. I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. That is what I am supposed to get out of all of this.

Settled on a location...

Nathan has been out west all week--ugh, it has been hard being in charge of packing and the three kids--looking into the Alternate Route to Licensure teaching programs and he found that Utah's program is probably going to be the best fit. While Las Vegas does offer a little more in the pay department, Utah has a lower cost of living and is not as HOT! He checked out living situations in both places and found we could have more for the money and in a "safer" area in Utah. So we are excited to announce that we will be moving to Utah and he found us a house to live in and everything. One of the bonus aspects to this house is that is on the same street as Nathan's brother Trevor and Rebekah and their 6 kids. It is at the end of a cul de sac and Hannah will be able to ride her bike to school if she wants. We can see mountains out of every window of the house. We don't know what the future holds beyond that, but we are grateful to have such kind friends and family here and there to help us and to love us.

"Last night I had a strangest dream.."

I thought I would give an update... everyone is doing well at our house. Nathan is out west interviewing for jobs and looking for a place for us to live. Hannah and I are holding down the fort. The girls are getting bigger and into so many neat things. Emma likes to dance whenever she hears anything remotely like music and Sara loves fabric and little details in things. I will post some photos or a slide show soon. Friday they will be 10 months old and I cannot tell you where the time has gone. Someone told us when were pregnant with the twins that this first year will be the fastest year of our lives yet the days will be the longest and that is exactly right.
I have to tell everyone about my brilliant and witty 9 year old. Tomorrow in class she is going to do a reader's theatre-a play script written to be read aloud in class. Her part is a reporter/scientist and she has created a costume and a prop. I guess the show has something to do with frogs and she took a drawing of a frog and some construction paper and a few other art supplies and created a full blown realistic frog habitat in a plastic shoe box container. I sent her down to take a shower and when she came up to say "goodnight" she showed me what she had done in just a few minutes. I was blown away. We are all "hanging in there". There are times when I am driving or working around the house and I am thinking to myself is this a weird dream. Am I going to wake up and none of this will have happened? You know like those weird dreams where you wake up and say "I had the craziest dream last night, we had twins, and then I quit my job to stay home with them, and then you lost your job, and to top it off we moved across the country. Weird!" That's my life right now, one crazy dream.

Rumors...

Just so this doesn't come to a complete shock to everyone when we start telling people, it looks like we might be moving. Of course we are sad to leave friends and family in Minnesota. We have built so many wonderful associations and friendships here. I cannot imagine not living here the last 6 1/2 years. I think I will use this post to tell you the story of how we came to return to Minnesota after college. We had many places we could move, Las Vegas, California, Utah, Nebraska and other states where jobs were biting, but we chose Minnesota to be close to family and, truth be told, so I could make and decorate Terry and Ellen's wedding cake, (It was the best cake I ever decorated!).
When we moved Nathan was supposed to start work with a large insurance and financial company but once we got here the recruiter that had interviewed him and offered him a job starting jerking us around and not calling back and finally when he did get a hold of her she said "um, I am very sorry but we are under a hiring freeze." Crazy! So we had to make some decisions and we decided to stay, we had great landlords, Randy and Sony. Nathan went to Prostaff and was hired to work for Carlson and until 3 weeks ago worked there ever since. It was actually a good thing that it all worked out the way it did because just a few weeks after moving to Minnesota my mom died, fortunately we were here to be able to handle all of the arrangements and we even got to see her one last time on Mother's Day that year.
During his time at Carlson, Nathan started working on a Master's of Education degree, hoping to be a elementary teacher. Eventually Nathan started making more at Carlson than he would have starting out as a teacher and with the teaching market so competitive here, he decided to discontinue the Master's knowing that it would be hard to walk away from Carlson to ??? and student teach with a family to support not knowing if he could get a teaching job when he was done anyway. Well, God works in His own way and sometimes He sends a big change your way even when you are not wanting it. Nathan will finish his Master's of Education and will do so through an Alternative Route to Licensure program. It is a pretty cool set up that allows him to student teach for a year under a mentor teacher in his own classroom yet still receive a teaching salary. Before starting he has to complete courses that are offered through the school district and the university. Upon the completion he has a license and a Master's of Education. He has an interview to do long-term subbing and will probably do that until he gets into a classroom. It is ironic that it took all of this to get my stubborn, very-comfortable husband decide to finally chase his dreams. I am happy for him and excited for what life holds for us. To answer the big question on everyone's mind--MN does not have ARL program as far as we know, but if you know about one please forward any information to us. Nathan has applied for a few of these programs and is in the process of doing informational meetings and orientation stuff, we will end up where ever he can find a job in the mean time and where ever there is an offer. As of right now that place is Las Vegas. Nathan's parents live there and we are looking for an apartment there. We will be having a going away/pack up the truck party at the end of October. I plan on cooking up sloppy joes and a bunch of other great stuff from our freezer before we have to go. We are having a moving sale on Friday, October 10th. There will be a ton of great stuff for sale because we will be majorly down-sizing.

Who could ask for anything more?

I looked out the window today and all I could see was a beautiful world that God created for you and for me. It isn't too hot and it isn't too cold. The trees are swaying in the breeze and there are birds chirpping. The sky is the most beautiful blue with gentle whisps of white clouds. My children, (just getting to say that is a miracle), are safe and happy and healthy. As I type this my husband is playing with the babies. I am even thankful that I have a window to look out. I am truly blessed. Things aren't so bad, who could ask for anything more? Thank thee Heavenly Father!

Apples to Apples!

We made the annual trek to the apple orchard. I like going to the Emma Krumbee Orchard because there are a ton of fun things to do down there and we get a fall leaves scenic route on the way down. The girls all had fun and we could not have asked for a better day. It was beautiful! Now I need ot get busy making and canning applesauce and other apple things. Nummmm....

Hannah really got into picking "prized" apples, as she called them; while Sara and Emma were just interested in the grass and leaves. It was a fun trip, we might need to go again to another orchard, hopefully there will be a few good weekends left.

Palin Power!

We all went as a family to the McCain-Palin Rally and it was super fun. There was a guy who had an Obama sign and bunch of ladies with Hockey Moms went and stood in front of him to block him, then he would move and they would move too. He finally gave up and fold up his sign and put it in his pocket. I can only hope that is what the election will be like--all of the hockey moms and women decide we are not going to be pushed around by fringe elements stand up and vote in a unified voice--then the fringe take their signs and fold them up and put them away in their pockets. I don't know about anyone else but I am sick of being told that I am not a real woman just because I support life.

I was even quoted in the Star Tribune:

http://www.startribune.com/politics/national/28676954.html?page=3&c=y

I said pretty much what most of the other women there were saying, I was luke warm about McCain, but I like the addition of Palin to the ticket because she is one of us, just her kids' mom working together with her husband to make the world a better place for her kids and for all of our kids.

Peace, Be Still

OK so it is 4:30 in the morning and I should probably resist the urge to write in the blog. It doesn't seem very sensible, but I have a lot on my mind, I am warning you now, you can still leave the blog and come back in a few days and something else will be up and you can just skip this entry all-together. Nonetheless, I am writing this to sort some stuff out.

1. So my husband was laid-off, part of me is scared and worried and part of me is hopeful and reassured that something amazing will come of this.

2. This weekend at church, the bishop (for those of you who are not Mormon-that is our head pastor) made an announcement about a guy in our ward (our congregation) who was very ill and in the hospital. He has had health problems throughout his life--heart issues, I think. He is married, both he and his wife are about the same age as Nathan and me. I have been thinking about them both and with technology being what it is, I have been keeping tabs on them on Facebook. Yesterday, he passed away. My heart goes out to Marla and Rob. I can't even imagine what she must be going through.

3. The girls have not been sleeping well(babies-teething, Hannah-allergies/cold). Which means I haven't been sleeping well (at all).

1+2+3=I am up because the girls were up and now I can't go back to sleep. I am just thinking about everything. I want to be worried about Nathan and the whole not-having-a-job thing and what to do with our life, but all I can think about is what is must be like to have to crawl into bed alone without my husband ever again. I am so grateful for his snoring and drooling; I am grateful for how positive he always is about everything, saying "it will all work out". I am grateful that I have three beautiful girls that need their mommy in the middle of the night. I am grateful for the knowledge that I have about God and the peace that we can find with Him. Right now I am thinking about the hymn "Master the tempest is raging..."

Master, the tempest is raging! The billows are tossing high!

The sky is o’ershadowed with blackness.

No shelter or help is nigh.

Carest thou not that we perish?

How canst thou lie asleep

When each moment so madly is threat’ning

A grave in the angry deep?
The winds and the waves shall obey thy will:Peace, be still.

Whether the wrath of the storm-tossed sea

Or demons or men or whatever it be,

No waters can swallow the ship where lies

The Master of ocean and earth and skies.

They all shall sweetly obey thy will: Peace, be still; peace, be still.

They all shall sweetly obey thy will: Peace, peace, be still.

and the Bible verses that it is based on in Matthew Chapter 8 Verses 23-28

23 And when he was entered into a ship, his disciples followed him.
24 And, behold, there arose a great tempest in the sea, insomuch that the ship was covered with the waves: but he was asleep.
25 And his disciples came to him, and awoke him, saying, Lord, save us: we perish.
26 And he saith unto them, Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm.
27 But the men marvelled, saying, What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him!

As I sit here typing I am moved by the incredible courage that so many around me have, I am grateful for this trial and think that I have a choice, we all have a choice really. Do I fear or do I have faith? Will I allow this horrible storm and tempest overcome me? Or will I have faith that our Lord is over all things and can calm this storm? Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, we need them, I need them. I have faith in Him who can calm even the greatest storm. Peace, be still. It will all work out.

Every time a door closes, God opens a window..

Nathan lost his job at Carlson today after being there for nearly 7 years and two promotions. Over the last three years Carlson has laid off a huge part of their workforce and the ax finally swung Nathan's way. We don't know yet what we are doing. That company is interesting in how it lays people off, it calls you into a office, sits you down and then tells you that you are done, then they walk you to your desk and stands there while you get your stuff and then you are escorted out of the building. (they have called security in case someone gets out of hand.) See ya! Last day, say goodbye to your co-workers as you walk by. So that was it, then Nathan called me and told me the news.

We have felt prompted to look for a new job, new place, new plan for the last year but needed to stay put with the babies coming and then being so new, but maybe this is our time to make a change. We are praying for guidance as to where to look, and what to do about insurance, housing, etc.

Hopefully if you get a call wondering about Nathan's character you will give him a raving reference.

Where have you been? A Monthly Update???

My apologies to all of my readers-NOT!-I have been so busy getting ready for the school year and the big wrap up of summer that I have not updated in a month!!! I will be posting vacation photos, along with a State Fair update, and Back-to-School when I get the chance. I am busy enjoying my time with this beautiful fall weather and being home with Sara & Emma. Hannah started 3rd Grade yesterday at Kaleidoscope Charter School. She loves it, but as she said, does not like the stinkin' bus trip. I have asked her to give it a week and then we will see.

My friend Ellen, who has a newborn and is consequently very tired and busy, has often resorted to just writing weekly updates so I guess you could say this is my monthly update. Too Funny!
Hannah has now mastered riding a bike so well that she is allowed to ride to the library and park around the corner. It is neat to see the sense of freedom she has while riding. She is really an incredible person. I just love her and the person she is becoming. I was grateful that it was sprinkling yesterday morning at her school. I think most parents were, it served as a cover-up to the tears that we all shed as we handed our kids off to a almost complete stranger to teach our babies. "Are you crying? Oh me? No. It is raining!" It really is crazy how I turn into a big pile of mush when it comes to my kids.

The little girls are doing great--almost nine months old! They are rolling and scooting all over the place. Their favorite thing to do right now is to be outside on a blanket. They love the feel of grass and leaves. I can see a bunch of beautiful fall pictures in our future! :) Last night after our walk, they both played on the blanket and tried to eat the grass and leaves. They are really starting to be aware of one another and giggle when they see each other's face. It is a cute time.

I will try to be more regular about keeping you posted with the happening at The Clark Corner.